Such an amazing and empowering read from Andre Balt. I had to pass it on.
"Freedom is not about the size of your cage, or power of your wings, or non-attachment to a person or a thing. Freedom is about being so truly, deeply and madly attached to your own soul that you can’t bear, if only for a moment, a life that doesn’t honor it." — Andrea Balt

Hey Troublemaker, How is your rebel heart this week?
Mine has been trying to break through yet another layer of life-long emotional addictions, and I wanted to share part of my process with you, in case you may be struggling too. 

Do you ever feel like you are sabotaging yourself and your growth by subconsciously attracting or creating certain situations, habits or relationships, that end up causing you unnecessary pain or struggle?

Do you frequently find yourself trapped in negative emotional cycles you can't break free from?

Raise your eyebrows if you hear me... Higher...

Beyond our more external, everyday addictions — to substances, food or unhealthy habits — many of us are addicted to strong emotions, drama and conflict coming from situations or thought patterns we've adopted and developed over time. In fact, all physical addiction comes from a deeper emotional addiction or perceived lack. 

Emotional addiction usually begins in childhood, when you first experience painful or disappointing situations, and you subconsciously register the negative emotions that arise from them as the norm to your life. Based on these first events and impressions, you develop an understanding, a series of beliefs about the world and yourself... 

You subconsciously adopt an UNDERLYING STORY about your life that produces certain emotions, which in turn trigger an addictive reaction in your body every time you feel them. Over time, these emotions become your default reaction to life, as well as to yourself, others and the world.  Your body interprets them as your DEFAULT TRUTH and it further seeks to reproduce them, in order to feel “okay” and “in control” of your reality — even though deep down these patterns are hurting or limiting you or keeping you from creating or attracting what you truly need. 

As such, through selective attention, you subconsciously choose the events, the people and circumstances that adjust to this core story, while on a physical level, you feed the addiction to the negative emotions caused by this story. 

Instead of creating your life from a place of freedom (aka, your original Story of Aliveness), you become reactive to life, from a place of scarcity (aka, your false Story of Survival).  Over time you end up trapped in a reality - a way of thinking, feeling and acting - that may be far from what you deserve, from who you truly are, from what you need on the deepest level. This addiction to negative or painful emotions can manifest in many ways in your life. Some of us seek the thrill of these emotions through unfulfilling relationships. That's me, for most of my adult life. 

Others through different substances, others through food, gossip or entertainment. On a psychological level, you can be addicted to drama, to stress, to unworthiness, to bad news, to failure, to procrastination... you name it.

That's me again, before I checked into my Soul Rehab, and starting deconstructing everything I thought I was or knew, rewriting my life over from the ashes of old me.

The truth is, most of us are not scared of suffering but of our own fulfillment.  Our greatness -- the overwhelming fulfillment of our creative potential, terrifies us so much more than our failure. As much as we complain about the not-so-great, most of us are more familiar and comfortable with the "No's" of Life than we are with saying Yes to ourselves and our Life. In a twisted sense, without being aware of it (because if we were, we'd break the cycle), we actually seek suffering because suffering, as much as it hurts, also makes us feel alive. 

We feel safe in the familiarity of our own pain, while our Joy and our Aliveness are still uncharted territory. We’re fluent in this language, as we’ve been speaking it our entire lives. We’re not as fluent in loving, trusting and healing ourselves, so we revert back to our 'good old pain,' when joy feels too good to be trusted, when real love (in any sense of the word) sounds like the foreign language we forgot.

We are so comfortable with the negativity, pain or struggle we believe we deserve, we’ve become so pro at our own suffering, that we must make a conscious effort to school ourselves in our original Joy and learn to break free from the people we're not.

Sadly, there aren't many Schools of Joy & Freedom around, and most of what we face each day - online and offline - only reinforces our emotional addictions.

ENTERS YOUR FREEDOM... 

Freedom can mean many things, at different points throughout your life. 

You first seek freedom on the outside, because that's where the lack of it hurts you the most.

Most often though, freedom begins inside. And when it doesn't, it must stretch and reach the deepest parts of your being, in order to become your way of operating.

Otherwise it remains on the surface, as yet another passing feeling. After the high wears off, you return to your prison, you revert to the false self you thought you'd left behind. 

In the deepest sense - FREEDOM is the ability to experience fulfillment without self-sabotage, the ability to create yourself vs. switch back to the familiar cycle of false stories + addictive emotions + unnecessary suffering.

The next time you feel trapped in your own perception and you can’t seem to stop sabotaging your truth, your joy and your expansion, try to interrupt the self-destruction process before it keeps on interrupting your best life.
Use these 3 questions to ground you in your truth and free you from the prison of perception:

WHAT IS THIS EMOTION TRYING TO COMMUNICATE? WHAT IS IT SAYING ABOUT ME / TO ME RIGHT NOW? 

What is the backbone, thought pattern, statement, the deeper belief and core story that sustains this emotion? How is it trying to define or confine me?

Say you’re in pain because a certain relationship hasn’t turned out the way you hoped, the underlying thought or story causing you pain may be:

“I can’t be loved as I am.” (Or any other variations of this story.)

On the outside, the storyline of how or why the relationship ended or didn't happen will be different, but try to look deeper and see with the eyes of the heart. Try to identify the story that your heart adopts as a result of this (or every other disappointment you experience). 

In order to fill the excruciating void left by this belief while at the same time to confirm it, you then develop an addiction to people who can't love you the way you need and desire. Because, remember? "You cannot be loved." (Or so the lie tells you...)

This addiction to unfulfilling relationships triggers a deeper addiction to the pain (and emotional roller coaster) that comes with every new love + heartbreak, very likely complemented by yet another physical addiction (or several) to certain foods or substances that temporarily seem to numb you from this pain. 

A self-destructive cycle that started with a false story, which you are mostly unconscious about -- and yet this story is now running you.

WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THIS EMOTION I’M EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW? The opposite of pain, discomfort and suffering, is usually a form of gratitude and surrender — the kind that come from seeing opportunity in any obstacle and trusting the process of your life, even when it hurts; of believing in your worth even when others don't.

Following the previous example — the opposite healthy story would be: 

“I AM ALREADY loved. (Insert all the ways in which life is already loving you right now.) This event is teaching me the ways in which I can’t be loved, and helping me become aware of what doesn't align with who I am.”

Notice how your feeling and consequent emotion around it changes instantly when you revert this thought from a feeling of scarcity to abundance, from a feeling of lack (which is the root of all addictive emotions) to a feeling of gratitude.

HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL? HOW WOULD I FEEL AND ACT IF #2 WAS TRUE? 

Addictions - of any kind - make you feel trapped in a story you don’t want to be in, but feel like you have no choice, like you are just a worthless character in a story somebody else (a terrible author) is writing with your life.

Remind yourself that YOU ARE the author, and you can change this story from inside. 

Reaffirm yourself by stating the kind of story you DO WANT and redirecting all your energy to creating, sustaining and manifesting this true story.

You treat yourself the way you believe you deserve, according to the value you believe you have.

The more you affirm and ground yourself into your desired reality and true value, the more REAL, POSSIBLE and DOABLE this reality or way of being becomes for you.

The first step in freeing yourself from these self-destructive patterns is to reclaim the life you DO WANT.

The first step to creating a new reality for yourself is to STATE IT. To begin a new story. 

Out loud if possible. In present tense, because even though you may not "feel" it yet, it is already in your field of possibility, just waiting for your command to start taking shape in your life. 

Following the example in the two previous points, you may want to rebel against your scarcity emotion and say: 

"I am loved in the way my soul needs. I am seen, accepted, believed in.... Therefore I nourish and treat myself like someone who is LOVED, SEEN, ACCEPTED AND BELIEVED IN." 

If you believe yourself to be a loved, unique, and priceless work of art, then you won't treat your heart or mind or body like a dumpster.    The point of this self-work is to BECOME AWARE OF WHAT IS RUNNING YOU...

Awareness is the beginning of freedom. Awareness reconnects you with your original truth, shows you your worth and helps you claim your creative power. 

It takes work. It takes time. It takes patience with your smaller self. It takes perseverance, self-discipline, commitment to your highest self. It takes consistent trust in the process of your life.

But could you really make it through the lies about your soul and back to you another way? 

If the point of this brief human experience is not the freedom to become your truest self, then I don't know what is... 

Wishing you a liberating rest of your week!

In every way you need to fly right now...GO BIRD!

xx

Andrea Balt